Why I, Amna Gilani Write on Pakistani Girls Embarrassing Issues?
By Amna Gilani • Sep 18th, 2009 • Category: Features • 31 CommentsAfter the publication of every article, not only in the comments, but also in the emails where I receive hundreds of messages of sympathy and alarm, I also receive filthy and accusatory messages. People accuse me of using such articles to earn from ads, or to just attract traffic or just to get fame. They accuse me of making up these articles and they ask why such things only happen with me.
The truth is that every girl, in Pakistan face these street harrassment. They are harrassed on the streets, in the homes, at schools, outside colleges, in the markets and everywhere in the public places. They are ridiculed, touched, groped, bitten, cut-down and raped daily in all parts of the country and due to the social and family pressures, girls don’t speak up.
Even when the Pakistani girls try to tell what they go through, they are hushed up or even they are blamed.
For example, mothers or fathers say, “Tum nay dopatta sahee say nahin ora ho ga”, or “Tum hans rahee ho gi” or “koi aisay he tu naheen chairta.” etc etc.
Once I went to a friend home for combined studies in the intermediate exams. We studied late in the evenings. Her father was like an uncle and was friend of my father for quite a time. He asked me that he would drop me at home and I called up my home and told them and they were satisfied. My friends father, Iftikhar Sahib, drove me to my home in evening, as he was on his way to some dinner outside the city with his clients. Along the way, he started touching my legs while changing gears repeatedly. First, I was shocked, choked and shrunk. I couldn’t utter a word with fear. His hands started to get more bold and he took my silence wrongly. He parked the car on the side and tried to pull me to his chest. It was when then I slapped him hard on face and punched on the nose and then started scratching him on the face. He also hit me on the face, but I kept on sratching him and soon his face was bloody red and I guess his one eye hurt badly. I got out of the car and started walking towards my home. He started the car and tried to hit me but I ran behind a tree and lifted a brick and broke the wind shield of the car. He sped away and I walked 30 minutes to my home in pretty bad shape.
I told my father the whole story and he was furious. Things reached to the police and settlement was lengthy and messy, but the old man got his life’s spanking. But many relatives of mine whispered among themselves that there might be something between me and Iftikhar and I encouraged him to this point, and such and such. They also said that the girl is very “khuli hoi” and the way I fought with the man also made me some kind of bad girl.
Whenever some girls retaliate she is considered a harlot and vulgar. People enjoy the tears, cries, protests and anger of the girls in the public places just after girls get some poke from a guy.
It’s not that just me is experiencing such things. Millions out there face such things daily. Everyone’s own sisters, mothers and aunts, and wives face such things and it’s the males of Pakistan who have to rectify it, because when girls try to stand against it, she is called as slut.
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I second you on your views of equality and respect for Women world over.
May be Quratul Ain Haider Said for Pakistani girls, “Mohay Beetiya Na keejeyo Aghlay Ganam” [God]Donot make me a Girl in Next life.
Amna Bibi The problem is not just Pakistani Men (including myself) its the Muslim Men mentality.
God Bless
I am sorry to hear about ur bad experiences.
That beast must be thrown into a prison and kept there for a very very long time.
An absolute disgrace to humanity.
Now about ur various articles in TPS.
Instead of just describing incidents after incidents of violence against women in your various articles……………………Plz try to provide solutions to those problems
Best of luck………and plz be careful with your english.Some words that u write are PURE SLANG…….and should not be used in civilized blogs.
TPS would be quite thankful of the alias “Amna Gilani” that it brings quite a traffic on the site.
its been really sad to read what you have written. some times i feel too bad about things and start blaming my self. this time i dont know for what reason i am feeling the same.
Amna, that is one horrendous story you have narrated….you have all my sympathies and i really feel sorry for all the ladies who go through such torture all over Pakistan…..i hope you find more courage within yourself and shall continue to speak out against such evil….you have also very righly pointed out parents and relatives’ roles in this situation and it make me sick to see all of this happening in 98% “Muslim” Pakistan !!!!!!!!!!!!
@ Bradistan: Its not Muslim or non Muslim, its not abour religion, its about the gender perversion.
@ BL: I know that I have bad vocabulary, but I write extemporarily.
@ Adnan: Sorry, I cannot give you my phone number or home address.
@ Azlan: Cheers
@ Ibrahim, again, its not about religion, its about gender perversion.
@ Shahid, I agree with you that the girl should not send signals, but my point was that if a girls is bruised and battered, she gets insult added to injury, when people ask her whether she had covered herself or not. I mean that is the proactive measure, and in reaction it seems useless and cruel in a sense.
Covering ones self noes not matter much, It is said that what people think about us is not our responsibilty, but what we make them think with our action is our responsibilty.
Dear Amna
By the way DO NOT STOP WRITING.
If u stop then it will be an act of submission to the male dominance.
Best of luck again.
I just went through your archive after reading this blog.Though I dont find anything wrong with what you write (you can write whatever you want) but just out of curiosity - don’t you get fed up of writing on the same topic again and again?
@ Natasha, good observation. I also went through her previous blogs and they seem to carry a pattern. But nonetheless, it is a major issue in a country that was built on fundamentals of Islam & should not be tolerated at any cost. If my sister, wife, mother or daughter happens to be the one who gets assaulted or harassed, god knows what kind of actions i will take upon with out realizing of its consequences.
wow You mentioned that the girl is blamed by being asked if she was covered properly or if she laughed. Those are important questions to ask because not covering properly will attract the perverts, hence the reason Allah commands the women in the Qur’an to cover themselves so that they are known (as Muslimahs) and not be molested (harassed).thanks
Hi Amna,
EID MUBARAK
Please donot paint all Males as filthy as the ones you have known. It is also part of the culture of the state from which your male friend comes. In India also males from Punjab,Haryana,Delhi are considered filthy while generally males from south,east and west are little more considerate to girls.As a village boy when i look back i also will be considred filthy by your standards.But that is because many a village youth yearn for female attention but the culture prohibits it.So a village boy feels jealous of the city guy who is having all the fun. But if a city girl shows little sympathy, the village guy can take this wrongly.
Well i think we humans are evolving.You must tell your friends to fight back and normally it scares the cowardly.
Self Defense for women is very important in our society. Boldness, straightforwardness should be better equipped with every lady.
People have much to say when it comes to women and ladies should care less, after all repute is everything; if it is saved other criticism can be repaired as well.
Brave you were but concentrate on learning self defense.
hi Amna Gilani, Eid Mubarak aap ko aur sabhi TPS ke regular readers ko. Yeh jo aapne likha hain wo kaafi dardnaak waqiya hai….kyonki aap ke friend ke abbu aur aap ke abbu dono dost hain phir bhi aisa waqiya hona bahot afsos ke maind hai.
waise aap apne columns main isi tarah pakistani society main aurton ke sath hone wale tashaddud par awaaz uthati rahen. meri english itni achi nahin hai phir bhi mujhe aapke columns parhne main koi problem nahin hoti hai.
keep going!
dh gandhi
I think issues excites/triggers due to lack of control/understanding of two teams.
In male dominant culture, this is bound to happen. This happened in Europe and USA 200 years ago. Don’t worry Amna. Subcontinent is catching up so may be soon our great grand children would be experiencing problems what European and American teens are facing. I learned one thing that people from Pakistan and India like to copy the west so much instead of being original. If you prefer western man, then marry him. Who is stopping you ?
Nather dream nather fantacy
But i can jsut add on the article, as soon as the women noticed that the uncle was trying to approch she shuld not have kept quiet, she shuld have asked him to stop, Girls psl dont be double minded and leave things to chance, do what you want , DONT GIVE MIXED SIGNALS, We are animals like kammi kameen.
hello friends how r u i am male 17 mynumber 03036335097
Amna, that is one horrendous story you have narrated….you have all my sympathies and i really feel sorry for all the ladies who go through such torture all over Pakistan…!
Amna I accpted V r wrong but wht.u think Jst boys r male done wrong?????
M nt covering men but can u tell wht u think about those girls who done worng using true emotins.feelings????
I’ll not mention wht girls did now a days coz 1st thing I do’nt wana use those useless words or may be I’v nt wprds to xplain that usless thing
But hop u undrstand wht I mean
Hope full if u write Articles then u’ll chek the responce and replied…..