Where the Buck Stops
By Gary William Murning • Aug 9th, 2008 • Category: Misc, Worth A Second Look • 14 CommentsThis is my first piece for The Pakistani Spectator and I’m delighted to have this opportunity to share it with you. The piece originally appeared on my blog a few days go. I hope you enjoy it. –
I’m getting just a little bit tired of the current assault on social networking sites by people who, frankly, should know better. Questions regarding who bears the brunt of the responsibility when it comes to protecting children on these sites still all too often miss the point.
For example, today I read this article in which a guy called Tom Ilube from the identity firm Garlik states:
“Busy parents can’t be expected to monitor their children’s activities all the time. What are Facebook, Bebo, MySpace and the others doing to help?”
Wrong, Tom. They can be expected to monitor their children’s activities all the time — not necessarily directly, admittedly, but via a proxy, whether it be monitoring software or an appointed in loco parentis adult. Busy parents are still parents. Ultimately, responsibility for the safety of their children lies with them. It isn’t enough to argue that some parents are technologically illiterate, or that children now access the Internet using many devices, such as mobile phones. These are 21st-century parenting problems that have to be addressed, either by talking to the child, building understanding and trust or, where that doesn’t work, monitoring and, if necessary, restricting.
Yes, social networking sites have a role to play in child safety/protection. And from what I have seen over the past eleven years or so, they are doing a better job than they ever have before. But the bottom line is that parents have to (and, increasingly, are) take complete responsibility where the protection of their children is concerned. If your child uses Facebook or MySpace, ask to see their friends. Discuss the pros and cons. Make them aware of the dangers.
Whatever you do, don’t be too busy — and don’t rely upon Facebook and MySpace to babysit your children. However good their intentions, however much money they throw at the problem, it will still be an imperfect system. Bear that in mind and take the proactive, involved approach that I’m sure most of you (if not all) already have.
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Gary is a writer/novelist from the north-east of England. He was born September 19, 1966. For the past twenty years or so the main focus of his attention has been his writing -- principally literary fiction, but also, for the past year, at least, his blog work. He has a severe physical disability (type II spinal muscular atrophy, towards the milder end of the spectrum) so his fiction occasionally touches upon this. It is not his main area of interest, however. He is interested in and stimulated by many, many different things -- from literature to politics and current affairs. He likes to reflect this in his writing. Gary's personal blog can be found here.
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Good job! Gary, you reminded so nicely that, “…parents have to (and, increasingly, are) take complete responsibility where the protection of their children is concerned..”
Yes, indeed, it is business of a parent as guardian to raise decent and responsible citizens, to help a young person understand various issues through involved discussions with mutual sense of and show of respect. This way, yes, a parent would not only be fulfilling his / her need and requirement to ensure protection of her / his child /ren but also the responsiblity of raising better citizens. Children raised by responsible parents, almost always, grow up to be better parents as well as better citizens.
“Children raised by responsible parents, almost always, grow up to be better parents as well as better citizens.”
That is very true, Aftab. I’m writing from the UK and whilst there are many highly responsible people here with excellent parenting skills, every now and then, one encounters a parent who just doesn’t seem to grasp the fact that being a parent is possibly one of the most important “job” they will ever do — for their child and for society as a whole.
Thank you for your comment!
Gary, that was one hell of an article. Great notions with subtle reminders.
In Pakistan, only youth knows and uses the social networks, so this article becomes pertinent in future, when these youth would become parents.
Thank you very much, Professor Khan! It’s very kind of you to take the time to comment. I truly appreciate it.
That is quite often the case in the UK, too, Dr. Ayesha — but I would certainly encourage parents to do everything they can to make themselves as aware as possible of just how these social networking sites work.
Great article Gary, very concise yet very effective in reminding us our responsibilities as parents. Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts and ideas regarding parenting!
Thank you, Mustafa. It’s very kind of you to comment.
A very instructive post and useful to our youngsters.
Thank you, Johann.
There is also a digital divide, through which very very few of parents or their children (for that matter) have access to the computers let alone http://WWW.
That is very true, Rubab, I’m sure. As you might imagine, it is now becoming quite different here in the UK. The vast majority of people at least have access to a computer, even if they can’t use it LOL. For many people in Pakistan my article probably addresses a problem they might not encounter for a few years, yet.
Thank you for your thoughts.
One of the most important issues, on which our society deeply relies. And one which hasn’t been given a thought to. Thankyou Gary, for throwing light on one of the basic, yet most significant issues of this age. Parents are parents, American or Pakistani, that doesn’t matters. What matters is there contributiong to their children, which in general leads to prosperity as a Nation.
Nicely written and expressed.
Looking forward to your more articles.
Regards.
Thank you for such a nice comment, Maham. I think you are quite correct; this is something that transcends nationality. Parents are parents wherever in the world they might be, and as much of a cliche as some (not me!) might consider it, investing in our children truly is investing in our future.
That apart, they deserve to be protected from those who might prey upon them.
I’ll hopefully have something new for you within the next few weeks.
Best wishes,
Gary.