The Pakistani Spectator

I don’t know…what makes us feel lonely…what makes us feel empty?

What makes us feel broken inside? What makes us cry out?

What makes us feel like dying? Or as if something has died inside us ?

I think that is what makes us feel hurt…

Sometimes it’s the things you remember of someone you really cared about, sometimes just the thought of what he/she was like to you…

What hurts us most is when we are left to feel (intentionally or un-intentionally) that it doesn’t matter what we feel to the other person…that’s when the tears really come…
But deep  down inside we know that is not the truth…but it’s our heart that refuses to accept that fact…

There is a theory that if you spray tears on what you feel hurt, makes you feel lighter…I don’t know how that is true…because in my experience…it just makes us avoid the same topic in the future…as if it’s there in the freezer to be kept cold…but just waiting to be taken out…waiting to be put in the oven…

Or as they say talk to someone and share your feelings…you’ll feel better…a hoax theory again…because the minute you tell this to someone…they use it against you…the second they get a chance…

Or maybe when you lie down on the bed late at night and realize that…you’re suddenly very alone…or maybe you always were but you failed to realize it…

But mostly we feel sad…when we realize….suddenly….that we don’t have any control over our lives….something happens…& it hits us….”Man! what have I been thinking…I never had any control over this…”
The helpless feeling…that feeling of complete helplessness…is what makes us feel hurt…

We feel we can trust this or that…or this person or that person…or this can’t happen…or this will never happen…not until I can prevent it….but when it does happen…that feeling of utter helplessness…
Is what is makes me feel sad…

Sometimes we don’t realize it but we do things that kill us…and when it does…we are hurt…

There is a lovely rhyme that says…

“Heavy the burden that bows the head
When love is alive but hope, is dead”

But Hopelessness they say is death, so we never lose hope…
or do we…?

try to keep smiling
& hope…

-peace

fzuberi