Marriages and Funerals on the Roads
By Amna Gilani • Jul 23rd, 2009 • Category: Politics, Worth A Second Look • 13 CommentsWe we like to share the griefs and joys of our neighborhoods and we pride in the fact that Pakistani society is not oblivious and connects warmly with each other. Where this social bonding helps in creating a sense of oneness, it also brings many hassles and hiccups.
How many time you have found it impossible to park your car or make your way out from your home to the office or to anywhere else, just because your neighbor has erected tents in front of your home for the marriage or for funeral or for some other occassion? How many time you have found out that the ropes of those tents have been tied up with your door, balcony, window shade or lamp post outside of your home without your permission, blocking your way?
While the function lasts, your life comes to a standstill. You cannot carry or take out any thing from your home and more often than not, your movements become very limited and your family suffers to a great deal. For marriages, the tents are mounted couple of days before the main function and you suffer through their Mayoon, Mehndi, Sehra-bandi, Barat and Walima. If this is a funeral, then you suffer through the funeral procession, Qul, Soaim and Jumayraats and other such things.
Apart from marriages and funerals, people have found out other ways to block the roads and streets. Mailads, Naat gatherings, Qawalis, birthdays, engagements and hell even night matches with tape balls are the way to torment the neighborhoods. If you even politely ask the organizer of the function to take the function away to any hall or ground, its’ a surefire way to trigger a brawl.
Is there any law for such public tormentation?
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Amna;
You points are logical but if you think any point good for people then why to inforced by means of LAW. Why not by people awareness?
Like Govt find something good then impose by LAW not by give awarness of people. e,g Ban on abusive Messages.
There’s this something called ‘Civic Sense’, which most of us lack! There ought to be a subject of Civics in our school level curriculum in order to instill this Civic Sense among children. This will enable them to grow up as responsible civilized citizens.
Yeh hamari Parampara hai
Ghreebon ki shadi tamboo main koi rook nai sakta.
Tambu lagnaydo, bhangray pain dio, Sarahpoo
Very will digging Amna, this problem does give lots of grief to many. Civic sense is what lacks in our society.
wait aunty will be soon here to rectify your query
amna janee
you are in safe hands your grandpa is always in your posts for keeping eye on you and ready to give you guide lines in all matters as per his power of wisdom lying in his knees.I fully hope that he wouldn’t use vulgar and abusive statements while guiding young kids like you which are his all time representation and make him prominent him in thousands.
Amna
the law surely exists in our systems thatit is breached by both side.People take local police in confidence before doing such things and if neighbors or other residence make complains then sometime police is bribed by the organizer of party.Secondly in our settled community no place or ground is specifically constructed for such purpose and It would be cheaper options for people to grab roads for days and force nearby people to accept it as such in cordial manners of people living in same community.
This is an old tradition of our culture too when there were no cars and people of whole street were taken responsibility of each other in good and bad times.
Aunty is always right………..
Amna Gilani, I can, sort of, agree with you that things can be pretty aggravating if one is taken for a ride (you know suing your property without your consent etc.). You will agre with me that if we try to live like a community then things can be fun and kind of natural. After all we are all humans and part of a neighborhood sharing with other humans. In my view, certain arrangments are made in emergency and one, almost, can’t avoid it - like someone dying (death usually comes without a fix appointment / date!!) hence this. But, other functions and gatherings are planned & can be arranged with prior consultation of the neighbors. In our neighborhood, thank God, we are still as “neighbors” must be and so far a feeling of togetherness is still there and hence no grievances.
When you talk about laws regulating everything in our lives then I wonder - are we really such a law abiding people, unless you are alluding to that ‘law of the jungle’ that is almost part & parcel of our public life.
Ref # 9: Correction / Sorry: please read ‘using you property’ for “suing your property” in the first sentence above!
Amna
One thing I can add here to lesson the miseries of uncivilized neighbors,
We cant avoid short tempered father and ill mannered sons.
But we surely get rid of uncivilized neighbors, selfish relatives and bad tempered husband.It depends on our moral courage and stand on principles.
Uncivilized neighborhood always create tensions in routine life.
they try to bully you by all wrong and abusive means as symbol of their power.
Human laws and etiquettes are almost same in all cultures but in our case as feud and dictatorial rule has been continued dominant for long tenure so we people have edadopt same fashions as part of nature.To cordon off our areas without seeing the law of state.
Our state is also comprised of law breakers or believe on might is right principle and this rule is actually reflecting from your topic.
Nobody wants to go even funerals of bad tempered people.First human instinct that attracts others is its nature and temperament.Then people start entering his or her circle after seeing others nature.Human laws are very simple.Respect others and give space and then receive it with same intensity e.g
You love to drink tea
But I dont like tea.
dont push me to drink tea again and again as ultimately I would spit this hot tea on you and leave that space in which tea drinkers are allowed only,
So in my views if you have unluckily get place near bad neighbor then first try to convince him /her as per manners and even then if he /she creates havoc around you as you mentioned then leave the area for getting your peace of mind.There is no limit of good people around you, you just have to make your heart big for their search and you would really search them.this is indication that GOD always exists around us even in hard times too.
Hi Amna ,
There is saying in India ” India may rahna ho Gandhaki aur Bhandaki ki pyar karna sikho”. We in India especially in North, have our Bharaths with Groom in his hungry Horse(with children of all hues and dress sitting on top of him) block busy roads even in Delhi what to talk of small towns.Well i used to gate crash into these Bharaths and enjoy dancing with somany pretty girls dancing in abandon and have free dinner with lot of sweets especially Gazhar ki halwa or Moong dal ki halwa(both sweets not common in my south)!!!
Allow our young boys and girls starved of fun to have little on the sly.Weddings are such a Big street corner affair with Music blaring, girls and boys in their finary.
come on amna allow this.
come on johann
there should be some limit for enjoyment in public places.
This thing is not restricted to enjoyment but with loud music at late nights, with heavy aerial firings and road blockage in congested areas are signs of poor human side of individuals and become torture for elderly patients and students in exams.
We cant give mental torture to our neighborers on the name of our personal enjoyments.
This all is show of poor civic sense.