The Pakistani Spectator

I am a white American muslim who married a Pakistani guy some years ago. At that time, I felt rather alone because I never knew anyone who had gone or was going through similar circumstances - the trials and tribulations of intercultural marriage, or newly found exposure to south asian cultures and customs. I felt largely on my own, and forged my own path with the help of a few good books. I recently started a new blog called The Gori Wife Life so that other people just starting out on a similar path - or just anyone interested in my story or experiences - can follow along.

I’ve only been blogging for a month now, but I’ve noticed a change in my writing. I’ve started to view the world as  if it were made of blog fodder! I’ve been surprised at some of the reactions to certain things I’ve written, and I’ve grown at least in respect to trying to analyze a story better from different viewpoints before writing.

I’m wondering what are some of your memorable experiences with blogging?

I’m so new that I don’t have a lot of memorable experiences of my own, but I have been a blog reader for some time. Blogging thus far has meant community to me in areas of my life in which it has been difficult to find community otherwise. I’ve connected with other mothers, other intercultural wives, other Pakistani sympathizers - things that are important to me that without blogging would have no audience.

Mostly, I comment on other blogs. I’m trying to develop a mix in my blogging community of diverse perspectives, and to do that I have to show up at diverse places, commenting and engaging in discussion. I’ve started to develop relationships with a few people I’ve met through my blog and we’ve begun emailing and connecting in other ways besides through my blog, too.

I’m in America, where technology played an important role in our recent Presidential election. While I’m not sure there was any single exciting or innovative use of technology, what I was most impressed by was President Obama’s MASTERY of technology. Other politicians also tried to incorporate technology into their campaigns, but only Obama seemed to be comfortable and knowledgeable about technology. For example, both Obama and McCain had twitter accounts that I followed, but McCain’s twitter posts always surpassed the 140-character limit, leaving me wondering why he was even on twitter? His messages would leave the reader with only the opening line of a much larger story which didn’t convey his point, left the reader in a lurch, and made him look outdated and old. Obama, on the other hand, seemed like he was comfortable with technology and knew how to use it to get his best points across. He stayed within the character limit and got not only got his point across, but was able to highlight his youth against the backdrop of McCain’s outdatedness. So I think that’s the most innovative application of technology recently: mastery.

Generally, yes. But with quick response comes less patience. And with technology as a crutch, people seem to forget how to deal with others on a personal level.

What do you think sets your site apart from others?

I think my life is very interesting, and not a lot of people have similar experiences to share. I have a Pakistani take on American life, and an American take on Pakistani life. When I am in Pakistan I am a defacto Ambassador of America, and in America I am a representative of ALL Pakistan and Islam, I am a convert to Islam, yet I am still very American and love my country and my background. I’m an enigma!

I don’t think I can choose just one. Curiosity has brought me great success.  In my marriage alone, asking questions and looking for more and more information has led to my acceptance among Pakistanis and my comfort with desi culture. My faith has brought me great peace and taken me down the wonderful paths my life has taken. My stubbornness has kept me safe, happy and well.

I think I am at my happiest now, everything in my life is just so blessed right now and I feel I’ve finally mastered many of my own challenges. My gloomiest was probably being in Karachi when the post-Bhutto-assasination riots were going on.

South Africa, Belize and some tiny village in NWFP, Pakistan

I owe a great debt to the books Culture Shock! Pakistan, Arranged Marriage by Chitra Divakaruni and anything by Jhumpa Lahiri. They gave me a wonderful foundation of knowledge about desi culture, and served as a great jumping off point for all the reading I’ve done about Pakistan & India. This knowledge has come in handy so many times in my life. It has helped me find a place of my own in my half-desi life, and it has helped me earn credibility among other desis, my own in-laws included.

Probably language. Even before marrying a desi, I always noticed the language slip-ups of people I met. I’m a bit of a grammar freak. Now that I spend so much time with foreigners, I really notice it.

No.

How can bloggers benefit from blogs financially?

I think there are a lot of ways you can blog for money - either by putting ads on your blog or being invited by some company to write for them. I think first you’d probably have to build up a foundation for yourself as a legitimate writer, and then just try to find freelance writing job to support that.

Is it true that one who has a successful blog has an awful lot of time on their hands?

Not necessarily. Since I only write from my personal experiences, it usually doesn’t take me much time to compile a post. I just have to get my memories out onto the screen. If someone was writing about something more substantial or that required research, perhaps it would take more time.

I think any effort to communicate with others can forward that goal. Just getting so many voices heard in the world can help. I think honest dialogue and purposeful discussion rather than navel-gazing is the key. (Although navel-gazing can have its own place in life, too.)

I have too many favorite bloggers, but some of my favorite bloggers who write about desi stuff are Sepia Mutiny (http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/) LuckyFatima (http://luckyfatima.wordpress.com/), Sometimes Sobia (http://www.sometimessobia.com/) and GoriGirl (http://gorigirl.com/).

Not yet.

I love Pakistan and Pakistanis. Half of my family are Pakistanis! I’ve travelled a fair amount around Pakistan and truly enjoyed my time there.

Sure, all of them. Every writer is different, and I love being able to delve into a total stranger’s life and see things from a different perspective.

Disaray, confusion and congestion. You’re never in the right line, never talking to the right person, never can find the right desk. There are no maps, no directions, no order. Also, there is little equality. I am almost always called to the front of a line, even if there are Pakistanis who have been their for hours.

It’s only been a few years and look how different it is. Who knows?

I write only about my gori wife life, in part because I could never think of ideas unless I limit myself to this particular aspect of my life. Even after five years of marriage, starting this blog has really renewed my interest in desi culture, and by asking my husband for information, I’ve seen how much more there is to see and do in the desi world. It hasn’t affected my professional life at all because I’m anonymous on my blog.

InshaAllah, learn, grow, work, and raise my family.

Be nice to the goris!